Dear Kindreds (Twitterpeeps edition)
Some thoughts on the death of the Great Blue Bird, a cute Carlos/ADHD story, and information about a concert I'm in this evening
*Note: I thought I had pressed “publish” on this yesterday, but it turns out I hadn’t for some reason, and so the concert I advertise at the bottom already happened last night. I will publicize the next one in case you wanted to go! :)
Hi all,
So, it seems like it’s actually happening. The Great Blue Bird, Twitter, is plummeting to Earth. I opened it today and had really weird lag times. It took till about the 10 second mark as I watched the spinning “loading” icon when I clicked on my feed several times before I realized: this is a signal. The bird is dying. One of these times, the feed won’t load at all.
It’s strange to watch. Huge account after huge account is bidding its adieu as lag times increase, and features start to lose their functionality. As far as deaths go, this is a weirdly bodily kind of death—a large entity experiencing its slow demise as system after system just stops working. Hard to say, of course, when the entire body will die (and surely it will contain smaller pockets of life, like bacteria or maggots, that subsist on the carrion while it rots and its useable features are consumed by other entities).
How very poetic.
Anyway, I threw this Substack up on Twitter (even though they are VERY different forms of communication) as a last-ditch effort to stay in contact with as many Twitterpeeps as possible, and if you signed up today, I wanted to thank you for hopping aboard over here. It means a lot.
It’s surreal to watch as a following of 23k people, which I built over years on Twitter—right after the unceremonious (and as yet unexplained) deletion of my Instagram at the beginning of this year which had 10k or so followers I’d also built for many years—becomes totally irrelevant. This represents hours and hours of labor. FUN labor. Labor I enjoyed. But it was work too. It took tenacity and commitment to a craft, especially when ADHD renders me really impaired when it comes to things like consistency and an accurate relationship with time. And to see it all potentially vanish (again) has me feeling like the universe is teaching me some things—about the flimsiness of life; about the transience of things we attempt to build here on this fascinating floating rock; about not putting all eggs into any one basket, but fostering variety; but most of all, about using apps to connect to people interested in following your work, and how there is folly in that. Like, could it be any more clear that trusting some company whose interests can be literally bought by a spoiled rich kid and ground to dust isn’t a great plan in making sure people who want to see your output are able to continue seeing your output?
So yeah. I’m so glad those of you who are here are here, wherever you have come from. The number might be far fewer than some of my former social media haunts (at least at the moment). But this is a relationship that can’t be interrupted by some weird intermediary. Even if Substack itself were to buckle, the relationship here is between you all and these words as mediated by a list of email addresses that I can export from this place if it, too, went under.
So, thank you for trusting me with that relationship. I will do best to honor it within the parameters I have set in this space. (Take a look at my first post to get a read on what’s happening here—basically, my ADHD brain has needed a space to be creative where I don’t end up limiting myself by trying to please some hyper-critical, very picky audience my brain tends to makes up in online writing venues. So I have fostered a space here where I am able to be very much myself, no matter what that means topically, timing-wise, etc. Sometimes I post a lot. Sometimes not. Topics vary. I say fuck. And I write letters to dead people and even channel an entity called K sometimes when the fancy strikes. And I try to remain committed to posting anything that calls my attention or suits my fancy or inspires me to write words down, and not worry about “pleasing” anybody as I do so.) Anyway, I like all of you a lot—those who have followed recently, and those who have been along for the ride for a while now— and it excites me to know you are following this writing journey.
Today I will go about my day normally. I am going to rest and get a haircut and find a black tie for the orchestra concert I am playing in this evening (we are playing Beethoven’s 5th which I’ve never played before and it’s so fun!)
Oh wait we interrupt the previous thought to bring you a funny ADHD story: the reason I am looking for a black tie is because I will be wearing a black shirt and slacks instead of a tuxedo. And why, do you ask, will I not be wearing a tuxedo?
Because I lost it.
That’s right.
I, an adult human, lost a full-ass tuxedo. As in, I have no idea where it is. As in, I have moved since then and couldn’t find it even after sifting through all of my belongings.
This happened when Carlos and I were early in our relationship—we had taken a bus and stayed in a hotel in Seattle before a concert I was playing in—and when I realized I’d lost it I told him, all embarrassed and sheepish. And instead of being critical and mean, I just remember him nodding with a gentle look that said something like “okay, so this is the level of impairment we are dealing with here… got it…” No shaming. No judgment. A tiny bit of shared amusement between us. But mostly just a vibe from him like “huh. That’s an interesting thing to learn about you, you strange, wonderful human being I am falling in love with.” (←make sure that if you end up with a partner THIS is how they feel about you and all your idiosyncrasies.)
Anyway, back to previous thought: throughout all these events of my day, I will be feeling the warm glow of gratitude that even as some social media empires fall apart, all of you care enough to stay connected to me, and to read these letters I write and toss out into the Universe with the purest intent to do good and shine light and share joy.
Thank you for that. It means so much.
Much love to you all,
Josh
PS—if you happen to be in the Tacoma area and like Beethoven, the concert tonight is free. Here is the info:
TCC Orchestra - Perseverance
Friday, 11/18/2022 @ 7:30 PM
Tacoma Community College, Building 2 (close to South 12th and Mildred)
FREE (donations accepted)
PROGAM:
In the Bottoms: Introduction and Juba Dance (Nathaniel Dett)
Student Concerto No. 2 (Friedrich Seitz), with violin soloist Kellen Cribs
Symphony No. 5 in c minor (Ludwig van Beethoven)